Sunday, July 23, 2017

How can I do what I say?

I let my daughter move in with me.  She had no where else to go.  I told her, "No attempted suicides and no self harm or you cannot stay here.  And so .....she purposely made about 4 - 4 1/2 " by 1.5 " deeply dug scratches in her legs.  Then within the week she made more.  It is really hurting my heart but nothing I say makes a difference.  I feel sick to my stomach and it seems like I am hyper vigilance.  Ot is not good for either my physical and mental health.  I deserve to have a life.  Finally.  Ove been through so much shot in my life.  As her mom I hate to throw her out.  But then I am not doing what I said I would do.  My sister (a recovering alcoholic)
Says she is convinced my daughter is on drugs.  I want keep worrying about all this.  I can't keep beating my head against the wall.  It's gonna kill me.
So...i can only pray for her.  And I will also pray for myself that God will help me let go and put joy back in my heart.

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